Psst... I Think the President Is Totally Senile
Look, I don’t want to shock you, but I think that our alleged President is senile. Really. Hear me out. Now look, I understand that the regime media teaches that he is a vigorous go-getter taking the lead on important issues and making America safer, more prosperous, and more equitable, but I’m concerned, folks. Maybe I’m off base, but I’m having doubts. I think the evidence is increasingly clear that he’s a senile old pervert who showered with his daughter, as well as a neo-communist serial liar whose inability to tell the truth is matched only by his grubby corruption.
Other than that, he’s fine.
And I am glad he’s the Democrat nominee for President. I believe he’s going to hold onto that office with his bony claws right up through election day. And I think he has a substantial chance of losing to Donald Trump. I didn’t use to, but I’m happy to say America is waking up. Voters can’t ignore Grandpa Badfinger’s failures and foolishness any longer.The people purportedly helping him are actually hurting him, which is great to watch. I particularly loved when he decided to tell the world that cannibals consumed Uncle Bosie. Now, let me say that again because I want to ensure you got it. The alleged President of the United States looked at the camera and told America that cannibals ate his uncle.
Cannibals did not eat his uncle.
And you would think that this bizarre lie about his uncle being an hors d’oeuvre would’ve been enough, but in the same series of incoherent sentences, he also managed to confuse Pearl Harbor with D-Day, get the day of the week wrong, and draw in Beau Biden’s death, which now occurred in action in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or wherever else it is useful for him to claim it happened. At least he left out his classic lie that the other driver in the accident that killed his first wife was drunk. This milking the death of relatives thing has become a habit.
He told this particular set of lies in the course of slandering Trump about the troops. Honest Joe was reviving that old “losers and suckers” lie that all of us veterans recognize as a lie. Joe Biden’s not a veteran. That’s because of another lie. Whatever happened to that asthma that kept our Commander-in-Crusty out of ‘Nam anyway? Was a stammer enough to get a deferment, too?
There I go, picking on him because of his stammer. Oh, and his senility, lies, corruption, and perversion, but yeah, also his stammer.
And then his handlers had him stagger into a gas station to show how Scranton Joe is a real person who knows how to interact with real people. We saw a bunch of citizens who didn’t even feel obligated to stand up in the presence of the President. That’s the kind of aura of leadership we want – local yokels shrugging at the shuffling zombie coming in for a quick photo op with the swing state rubes before heading back out to the Delaware beach house he bought with Chinese bribes.
He didn’t bring Hunter with him, which is probably good because somebody might’ve accidentally got him filching coins out of the take a penny, leave a penny tray. Of course, had that happened, the regime media would not have run it.
They did not run the story of Hunter’s perversion-ridden, corruption-filled laptop because that was allegedly Russian disinformation. The First Failson’s peccadillos, of course, are the fault of Putin for reasons, and shut up because you’re a transphobe.
They covered for Joe on Cannibalgate as well. Hilariously, the story about his bizarre I-tied-an-onion-to-my-belt-which-was-the-style-at-the-time ramblings was headlined “Biden is off on details of his uncle’s WWII death as he calls Trump unfit to lead the military.” Falsely claiming that your uncle goy tossed into a boiling pot and consumed by local tribesmen is not messing up some minor detail.
Saying something happened in the late morning rather than the early afternoon is a minor detail. Asserting that Dahmerriffic individuals with bones through their noses munched on Uncle Bosie is a major detail. Now, we all appreciate the service of Uncle Bosie, even though he wasn’t the super jet pilot war hero Biden pretends he was to burnish Joe’s own pathetic reputation, but cannibals didn’t eat him, and whatever glory accrues to him does not transfer to his nitwit nephew.
I’m laughing at all the Democrat politicians taking a look at all the polls which show Donald Trump ahead in the battleground states. If you recall, Trump has never been consistently ahead before. He wasn’t ahead in 2016 consistently, and he was barely ever even in any poll in 2020. But now he is, consistently, and they’ve got to be scared. They’ve got to be especially terrified because of the tendency of people to hide their support for Donald Trump. The silent Trumpers are a real threat.
Now, a sane party would somehow get rid of the desiccated zombie they have nominated, but the one smart thing Joe Biden never did was take out the greatest insurance policy any politician ever had – Kamala Harris. She’s even more despised than he is, though she’s about as coherent.
Much of the talk about how he will be shuffled off stage and somebody else will be slipped in to bring in the big win is all just magical thinking. It’s Biden. They bought that ticket to ride and they’re riding it to the end of the line.
I did something no one’s ever done with Joe Biden, which is underestimate him. I underestimated his amazing power to fail. He has failed at everything.
- The economy is a disaster. You can’t go to McDonald’s, order two Big Macs, a large fries, and a small Diet Coke, and walk out without paying 30 bucks.
- Hell, try and buy a house.
- America’s a foreign policy joke.
- Biden attacks our allies and defends our enemies.
- And remember that pier he was going to build to feed the terrorists in Gaza? That doesn’t appear likely to happen, not because he suddenly realized how stupid the idea was, but because the Navy ships he sent there either broke down or caught fire.
“Well, a jury of New York liberals and a judge whose daughter works for the Democrats convicted Trump of something I can’t quite explain, so I’m going to accept inflation and national humiliation in order to re-elect Joe Biden?”
Nope.
This guy is going down, and I don’t mean tumbling down the stairs of Air Force One, but you know that’s in the cards, too.
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get the newest volume in the Kelly Turnbull People’s Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, the bestselling Amazon #1 Military Thriller, Overlord! And get his new novel of terrorism in America, The Attack!
