Michelles Speech Was Trite Too

By Ann Coulter When MSNBC signed off at 3 a.m. the first night of the Republican National Convention they were still talking about Melanias speech. For five solid hours MSNBC had been obsessing over two paragraphs of Melania Trumps speech that were nearly identical to Michelle Obamas 2008 convention speech. The similar passages were: The only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams! Your word is your bond! May your tomorrows be brighter than your yesterdays! From tiny acorns great oaks grow! MSNBC covered the banal sayings as if Melania had been caught selling secrets to the Soviets. All night commentators somberly intoned Its essential that the campaign get out in front of this. Trump needs to apologize … Now is the time for him to demonstrate crisis management skills and this IS a bona fide crisis. The network presented a split screen presentation of the two paragraphs next to each other with a color-coded bar showing when the plagiarism becomes more intense. Hosts read the corresponding parts of the speeches over and over again. Lawrence ODonnell pronounced: This is serious." If youre on MSNBC and traffic in outrage and sanctimony every day you can lose your bearings and not even realize what an idiot youve become. MSNBC called in experts from various fields a linguist from MIT a psychiatrist specializing in pathological self-destructive impulses and now lets go to Jacques Truffaut in Paris! Well Brian the French here are just getting a translation of the speech as we speak and I can tell you they are shocked.   (Yes the moderator for MSNBCs hysterical coverage of Melanias plagiarism" was Brian Williams who must have been trying to quietly excuse himself from someone elses embarrassing verbal blunders.) Not one single person on MSNBC said Yeah um can we talk about something else because this is so lame and trivial we risk looking like sissies." Huffington Post Gawker and Jezebel pulled all-nighters to hoot and sneer at the prospective first ladys speech. The following day Andrea Mitchell devoted half her show to Melanias plagiarism." In a few days well be seeing DAY 5: NO APOLOGY FOR PLAGIARIZED PARAGRAPH! Listen to yourselves MSNBC! Your obsession with the theft" of these saccharine sentiments only reminds people how trite Michelle Obamas speech was. (Which you adored.) More shocking than the fact that Melania used some of the same expressions from Michelles speech is that someone heard these hackneyed phrases and said I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE IVE HEARD THAT BEFORE!" Havent you heard these platitudes a thousand times before? Kids spend half the day affirming how special they are. I am somebody! I can do anything! The world is my oyster! Personally I think its a creepy and cynical thing to do. We ought to be honest with people. You can do some things and have a happy life but there are other things you probably cant do. Most of you are never going to be a nuclear scientist an NFL quarterback or a dancer with the Joffrey Ballet. No one wants to state the obvious because it involves making fun of both Melania and Michelle but the fact is: Its impossible to plagiarize" meaningless twaddle. Obviously Melanias speechwriter didnt think up those words and neither did Michelles. You can hear the same thing at any third-rate college commencement at Orientation Day at Excel academies at motivational speakers corporate events and right now in the greeting card aisle of your local Rite Aid. Not even Hallmark cards could claim authorship because there were probably caveman drawings with rainbows that said You can achieve anything you set your mind to!" If I were giving a speech and suddenly burst into We shall fight on the beaches we shall fight on the landing grounds we shall fight in the fields and in the streets …" youd have a right to say Um Ann did you write that part about fighting on the beaches yourself? But if I say: The only limit to your achievement is your dreams!" no one can claim the rights to those words because theyre insipid nothings. No one invented the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams" anymore than I invented Hey how you doing?" Theres nothing there! These are phrases designed to allow you to make sounds while moving your mouth.   People who wanted to hate Melania thought her speech was godawful and the ones who like her thought it was awesome and are now requesting copies of the speech to use at the office. But all that actually happened was: Melania Trump gave a typical first lady speech. I cant remember a first lady speech that was memorable. In fact it would take me a week to think of any convention speech that was memorable. Ill see your the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams" and raise you I LOVE YOU WOMEN!" (Ann Romney 2012 Republican Convention.) Some people like this stuff. Theres a reason we have a greeting card business. The media wanted a catastrophe the first night of the Republican National Convention because theyd already written the chyrons for it. Unfortunately the fact that Melania gave a typically banal first lady speech was the best they got so MSNBC just powered through with an attitude of gratitude" realizing that satisfaction lies in the effort not in the attainment." I wrote those myself.